How The Syd Stole Christmas/Transcript
[At Reynolds' house] [Sydney and Olive come in.] Sydney: Olive, can you believe it? Winter Break. Two school-free weeks, and the best part is, [dancing] I'm going to Hawaii. Olive: Without me. You say "Hawaii", I hear "good-bye-ii". [Max comes in.] Max: Uh, Syd, I've got bad news. Sydney: [dancing] As long as it's not about Hawaii. Max: Okay, then it's not about Hawaii, and not about how there's an active volcano and definitely not about how they canceled all the flights. Sydney: What? We're not going? Olive: [dancing] You're staying here for Christmas. You're staying here for Christmas. [silence] Olive: Sorry. Sydney: Can we go someplace else? Mexico? New Mexico? Any of the Mexicos. Max: I tried. It's two days before Christmas. Everything's booked. Hotels, motels, cabins. Even a cattle ranch. It was no, no, no, and a... "Not happenin', partner". Sydney: Really? But I've loved going away for Christmas these last couple years. Max: Look on the bright side. We can have Christmas at home like we used to. Sydney: I guess. Oh, and I can celebrate Hanukkah with you, Olive. Olive: Oh, well, that was two weeks ago, but it's the thought that counts. Max: It's gonna be great. Who needs Hawaii? [Judy appears.] Judy: Grab your board and your wax, 'cause we're going to Hawaii! [acts like she's surfing] Max: Who wants to tell her? Sydney/Olive: Not it. [THEME SONG] :to 1992. [At Reynolds' house, Max and Leo arrive.] Young Max: I'm so stoked. Only one more day to winter break. And 173 days till summer. Leo: Those days you know, but you can't remember my birthday? [They look at the Christmas tree.] Young Max: Hey. My mom put out the presents. Leo: Wow. She's a born wrapper. Her pleating game is impeccable. And don't even get me started on her embellishments. Young Max: Yeah. She does all those big words. Leo: Look at this. [grabs the present] "To Max. Love, Mom". Young Max: Wow. She never puts my presents under the tree before Christmas. She finally trusts me not to open 'em. [Judy comes in.] Judy: Hey. Give me that. Must have put it out by mistake. Young Max: Come on, Mom. I won't touch it. You can leave my present under the tree. Judy: You know what? You're right. If you're old enough to do your own laundry, you're old enough for me to put your Christmas present under the tree. Young Max: I don't do my own laundry. Judy: [leaving] Now you do. Merry Christmas. [Max grabs the present.] Leo: What are you doing? Young Max: She didn't say I couldn't weigh it. It's too light to be a book. So that's good. [puts the present on the table] Leo: All right, Max. You've had your fun. You're making me nervous. Young Max: You're right. My mom trusted me. [Leo nods.] Young Max: What was she thinking? [Max breaks the wrapper of the present and pulls it out.] Young Max: A start-up jacket! I can't believe it! She got me a start-up jacket! Leo: Whoa! You're gonna be the coolest kid in school. Nobody else has one. Well, at least not yet. Young Max: You're right. After break, everybody will have one. Unless... Leo: That's my least favorite word you say. Young Max: I'll wear the jacket on the last day before break. Then I'll be the first one in school. All I gotta do is re-wrap it, put the jacket back before Christmas morning. (paper rustling) Leo: I can't watch this. Give me tape, wrapping paper, and every ribbon you've got. I've got some decorative embellishments to apply. :back to present day [At Reynolds House, Olive arrives.] Olive: Thanks for inviting me tree shopping, Mr. R. I love Hanukkah, but every year I ask my parents for a Christmas tree. And every year they say no. Eight nights in a row. [Sydney appears carrying gifts.] Max: Whoa, Syd. That's a lot of presents. Save some room under the tree for Santa. Judy: Oh! What'd you get me? A jade roller? A wishing ball. Ooh! A candle shaped like Rihanna? Sydney: Sorry, Grandma. These are for the Millers. They're the family that I adopted. Olive: You adopted a family? [whispers] What about these people? Sydney: No, it's a charity that I found. You're assigned a family in need, and then you buy them presents. Max: Wow, Syd. That's so nice of you. Olive: This all seems like a conversation we could have at the tree lot. Let's move it, people. Sydney: Oh, I can't go now. I told Mrs. Miller I was on my way to drop off these presents. Max: But, Syd, it's Christmas Eve. This is our last chance to get a tree. Sydney: [gasps] What are you saying? That our Christmas is more important than anyone else's? Max: I never said that. I mean, I thought it for a second but I didn't say it. Okay, well, the lot closes at 2:00. So, just be back before then. Sydney: Yeah, yeah. Of course. [grabs the presents and goes to the door] Olive: I'll come with you. The sooner you're finished, the sooner I can fill that tree-shaped hole in my heart. Max: Okay. Bye, girls. (door closes) Judy: I get the feeling Syd is not that excited about staying home for Christmas this year. Max: No, she's just disappointed about the trip being canceled. Judy: I get it. Right now I should be in Hawaii by the pool, talking to a flirty towel boy. Oh, Chad. A second towel? You tease. (chuckles) Max: Yeah, I'm disappointed, too. But we used to have great Christmases here. Syd loved them. Judy: Well, that was because of her mom. Max: Yeah. Nobody did Christmas like Alicia Reynolds. She always made it so special. :to 4 years ago [At Reynolds house, Judy opens the door, Alisha and Sydney come in singing.] Alisha: Over Willamette and through Portland. To Grandma Judy's we go. Sydney: We brought all the tinsel and carried the stockings. Max: I locked my keys in the car. Oh, nope. I got 'em. Right here. Judy: Ooh, cute sweater, Alisha. Max: Mom, we're wearing the exact same sweater. Judy: No, you're wearing it. She's rocking it. [Alisha giggles.] Max: I get it. You like her more than me. So do I. [kiss Alisha on the cheek] Sydney: Ew! Save it for the mistletoe, you two. Judy: Well, I'm glad you guys are here. It never feels like Christmas until you show up. Wait. These are all the decorations you brought? Alisha: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We've got eight more boxes in the car. Max: Eight? You said we'd keep it light this year. Alisha: Oh! Did I say we'd keep it light? I mean to say we'd put up lots of lights. And they're not gonna bring themselves in. Sydney: So, Dad... Max: Right. Boxes. Judy: I'll help. Someone's gotta tell you you're doing it wrong. [Judy and Max leave.] Alisha: I thought they'd never leave. Sydney: You mean our annual Christmas Eve Prank? How are we gonna top last year? Alisha: You mean "Operation Make Dad Think It's Snowing Inside", but it's really just powdered sugar? Sydney: Yeah, we really need shorter names for these pranks. Alisha: That's why this year's is called... "Operation Gift Bomb". [pulls a giant roll of gift wrap out of a box] Sydney: I don't know what it is, but I love it already. [giggling] [They high-five.] Alisha: Whoo. Alisha/Sydney: Eh, eh, eh. (laughing) :back to present day Max: Wow. This'll be the first Christmas at home without Alicia. You know what? I know how to get Syd in the Christmas spirit. We'll do it the way Alisha did. We'll go big. Judy: Great idea. You get the lights and the ladder. I'll get the first aid kit. :to 1992 [At Clara Barton Middle School, Max walks down the aisles wearing his jacket.] (indistinct chatter) Young Max: That's right. I got the first start-up jacket in school. It keeps me warm, and makes me cool. Leo: Apologies. It's the jacket talking. Not him. Young Max: No, it was me. [They continue walking.] Leo: [to a boy] Hey, watch it, peanut butter hands! [to Max] We really gotta find out what that kid's real name is. Pete: Whoa. You have a start-up jacket? Sweet. Can I try it on? Young Max: Sorry, Pete. Can't risk messing up the threads. Pete: Seriously? Peanut Butter Paul, I understand. But me? [leaves] Young Max/Leo: Paul! (bell rings) Leo: Ooh, quick. Let's get to the cafeteria. It's Sloppy Joe day. Young Max: Then I better put this away. My mom sees Sloppy Joe on this bad boy, I'm totally busted. Leo: Yeah, good thinking. That's not a start-up jacket. That's a smart-up jacket. [opens his locker and puts his jacket inside] (clattering) [Leo watches worried.] (slams) Young Max: Now, let's go chow down in sloppy town. Leo: Yeah, please never say that again. [They walk away and Max's locker opens, dropping things inside to the floor, including the jacket.] [At Millers' house.] (knocking) [Mrs. Miller opens the door.] Sydney/Olive: Merry Christmas! Mrs. Miller: Merry Christmas. Which one of you is Sydney? Sydney: Present. Heh. Or should I say, presents? Yeah. [Sydney and Olive give the presents to Mrs. Miller.] (laughing) Olive: And I'm her friend Olive. I celebrate Hanukkah, but I also love Christmas. So this isn't weird for me. And it shouldn't be weird for you. Mrs. Miller: I have three boys. One of them barks when he's hungry. Nothing's weird for me. [Sydney and Olive come in.] Mrs. Miller: Wow, you really went all out. I just laid off a few months ago. So this is gonna save Christmas for my boys. Thank you. Sydney: It's our pleasure. Charlie: Presents! Yay! Mrs. Miller: This is my youngest, Charlie. He likes action figures, and not kicking strangers in the shins. Right, Charlie? [Sydney and Olive retreat a bit.] Charlie: But it's Christmas! [leaves] Mrs. Miller: Girls, this is really sweet of you, but I don't want to keep you from celebrating your own Christmases. Sydney: That's okay. We're in no rush. It'd rude to just gift and go. Olive: Uh, but Syd, what about the tree? The lot closes in an hour. Sydney: Olive, don't worry. We've got plenty of time. And speaking of trees, yours isn't even assembled yet. We can do that for you. Mrs. Miller: Seriously? Where were you two when I bought this bookcase? [leaves] Olive: Happy to do it. [to Sydney] What are you thinking? It's gonna take us forever. Syd, it's like you're trying to avoid your own Christmas. Sydney: That's ridiculous. Now let's get started. The sooner we put together her tree, the sooner we can hang up her paper snowflakes. Olive: But she doesn't have any paper snowflakes. Sydney: Exactly. We've got some serious snipping to do. [Later, at Reynolds House, Sydney and Olive are in the kitchen.] Max: Hey, girls. Sydney: Hey, Dad. Sorry that we took so long, and... we missed out on buying a tree. Max: Yeah, it just won't be the same. But, we'll still try to have a good Christmas, tree or no... [They move from the kitchen to the living room.] Max: Tree! Olive: (screams) Sydney: (angrily) You got a tree? [Max nods.] Sydney: (excitedly) I mean, you got a tree. Max: I figured you wouldn't be back in time, so I went out and got one. Start hanging some ornaments. I'll go buy some new lights. Christmas is happening, people! [goes in a hurry] (door closes) [Sydney and Olive watch the tree.] Olive: Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? :to 4 years ago [At the kitchen, Alisha's on the phone.] Alisha: Okay. Just breathe, Carol. The baby's not due for another two weeks. No, it's not labor. It's just... gas. Yes. Probably from eating that entire fruitcake. [ends the call] Sydney: That Carol lady calls a lot. Is everything okay? Alisha: Moms-to-be can get a little nervous, and since I'm delivering her baby, I have to reassure her. Sydney: You're a great doctor, Mom. Alisha: Thank you. But... I am an even better prankster. [They go to the living room.] Alisha: "Operation Gift Bomb" is in full effect. Let's see Dad fall asleep after Christmas Eve dinner now. Sydney: Or after opening gifts, or watching a movie. Something about the holidays gives that man a real case of the sleepies. (laughs) [Max and Judy come in.] Max: What happened to the couch? What about my sleepy nap time? Sydney: Well, you'll just have to nap on the... Oh, wait. We wrapped that, too. Max: Guess you'll just have to stay awake with the rest of us this year. Judy: Oh! Best gift ever. Max: Well, joke is on you. I will nap upstairs. Sydney: This is some of our best work. Alisha: Oh. And so is that. But you know the best part? Doing it with you. :back to present day Sydney: We can't keep this tree, Olive. Olive: What? Sydney: We have to give it to the Millers. They deserve a real one. Olive: You wanna steal your family's Christmas tree? Oh, you are so going on the naughty list. Sydney: Olive, we aren't stealing. We're just spreading Christmas cheer. Now keep your voice down, and help me sneak this thing out of here. [They try to lift the tree but they can't.] Olive: Syd, it's too big. We can't deliver this thing on our own. Sydney: That's why we're gonna need some help. Olive: But who would want to spend Christmas Eve delivering things? Other than Santa? Sydney: Someone who enjoys delivering things even more... than Santa. [T''he scene passes to Iggy helping Sydney and Olive take the tree inside the Millers' house.] 'Iggy:' Tree's here. It's ready, it's right, or it's... tree. '''Mrs. Miller:' Girls, I really don't need another-- Wait. Aren't you my pizza guy? Iggy: Truth is. I don't just love pizza. I love Christmas, too. Especially the trees. They look like giant slices of pizza. And the ornaments look like pepperonis. Word of advice: they don't taste like pepperonis. [leaves] Sydney: Okay, Mrs. Miller. Time to decorate. Let's string some popcorn. It might take a while, but we should be done by midnight. Mrs. Miller: Sydney, you've been great. You brought me presents, you assembled my tree. You brought another tree that I have absolutely no idea what to do with, but Christmas is a time for family. Sydney: I think I know what you're trying to say. You think of us as family. Mrs. Miller: Oh! That's not exactly what I-- Olive: Hey, Syd. You know what? I think I saw lots of pine cones outside that we can use for the tree. Sydney: Really? Great idea. [leaves] [Olive follows Sydney.] Olive: [to Mrs. Miller] Lock the door behind us. No matter what you hear, do not open it. Merry Christmas! [leaves] :to 1992 [At Reynolds house, Max and Leo come in.] Young Max: What am I gonna do? We searched everywhere, and no jacket. Leo: There's nowhere else to look. We checked the lost and found, the dumpster... Did you know the art teacher throws out our old projects? It's like, why even try? Young Max: I'll be okay. Just need to buy another jacket. You got any money? Leo: No, I, uh, spent all my money buying Christmas presents for family and friend. Young Max: Whoops. Leo: Oh. So same thing I got last year? Anyway, what are we gonna do about your-- Ms. Reynolds! [laughs] Uh... What is that wonderful aroma coming from your kitchen? Judy: It's either fish sticks, or I have to take out the garbage. [looks at the tree] Wow, Max. I can't believe you haven't opened your present yet. I'm proud of you. You really have grown up. [leaves] Leo: Max, you have to tell your mom you lost the jacket. Young Max: Yeah, you're right. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we'll find the right way to tell her. Leo: Don't you count my head in this. [chuckles] I'm out! :back to present day [At Reynolds' house, Sydney arrives.] Max: Syd, someone stole our Christmas tree. Sydney: Dad. Max: Don't touch anything, in case they need to dust for prints. Oh, no. Mine are all over this place. Sydney: Dad, it was me. Max: You? Why would you take our tree? Sydney: I gave it to the Millers. Max: You what? We were gonna decorate that tree together and celebrate Christmas. Sydney: But Dad, the Millers aren't as lucky as us. Don't you want to share the spirit of Christmas? Max: I do. With you. Sydney: Well, maybe I don't want to celebrate. Max: Syd, is this because we didn't get to go to Hawaii? Sydney: Dad, this isn't about Hawaii. Max: Then what is this about? Sydney: I really don't want to talk about it. Max: I think we really need to. Sydney: Look. It's about Mom. Okay? Max: I see. I know Christmas hasn't been easy since Mom died and that's why we started going away, but we can't keep avoiding it. It's time we celebrated again. Sydney: No. Mom's gone. We can't go back celebrating like she's still here and everything's the same. it's not. Christmas is never gonna be the same without her. I never wanna celebrate it again. [leaves] [Later, at Millers house.] [Mrs. Miller opens the door.] Sydney: Look who brought tinsel! [Mrs. Miller chuckles] Mrs. Miller: Sydney, you're obviously a sweet girl who really cares about people, but it's Christmas Eve. Honey, don't you have your own family to be with? Sydney: Yes, but-- Charlie: Can I open my birthday present now? Mrs. Miller: A little later, honey. Sydney: Don't you mean Christmas present, little guy? Charlie: But today is my birthday. Mrs. Miller: He was my little Christmas present. [giggles] Sydney: Wow, a Christmas Eve baby. I'd love to hear all about that. How old is he? Where was he born? Was it a tough birth? Mrs. Miller: Charlie's four, he was born at St. Theresa's, and I'm uncomfortable answering the last one. Sydney: St. Theresa's? My mom used to deliver babies there. Mrs. Miller: Oh, really? What's her name? Sydney: Dr. Alisha Reynolds. Mrs. Miller: She was a wonderful woman. I'm so sorry. Sydney: You knew her? Mrs. Miller: She delivered all three of my boys. I always felt terrible that I dragged her away from Christmas to deliver Charlie. Sydney: What? She left on Christmas? :to 4 years ago [Alisha's on phone.] Alisha: I understand. Bye. [ends call] Sydney: [comes in] Mom, I got Dad with the mashed potatoes again. Alisha: Look like he got you back. [giggles] Syd, uh... I have something to tell you. Remember Carol? The lady I was talking to earlier? Sydney: The fruitcake lady? Alisha: Yeah. Turns out, it wasn't the fruitcake. She went into labor, and she's going to have her baby tonight. And I have to deliver it. Sydney: You're leaving? Alisha: Yes. Sydney: But it's Christmas. You can't. Alisha: I know, Syd. And believe me, I don't want to, but... babies don't stop for Christmas, and someone has to help them be born. Sydney: That's not fair. It isn't Christmas if you're not here. Alisha: I'll miss you, too. But, the thing that I would hate more than missing Christmas is knowing that you didn't have a great one. [hugs her] So. Can you promise me that you will have the best Christmas possible? Even if I'm not here? Sydney: Okay. I promise. Alisha: Yeah. [They hug.] (sighs) :back to present day Mrs. Miller: Everything okay, Sydney? Sydney: I can't believe I forgot about my mom leaving that Christmas. I guess I only remember the good parts. Mrs. Miller: Listen, you wanna stay for some eggnog? Sydney: Thanks, but I've got to get home. I just remembered a promise that I have to keep. [door opens] Sydney: Merry Christmas. Mrs. Miller: Merry Christmas, Sydney. :to 1992 (knocking) [Max opens the door, Leo comes in.] Leo: So, how'd it go with your mom? Which is it: military school, or boarding school? Young Max: There's a school for skateboarders? Leo: Forget it. What'd she say? Young Max: Well... Leo: You didn't tell her? Max, it's already Christmas Eve. Young Max: I know! But I'm holding out for a Christmas miracle. Leo: Oh, good! So you have a plan. [knocking] [Max opens the door.] Young Max: Pete. Whoa, you found my start-up jacket. Pete: Yeah. I found it on the floor by your locker. I was on my way to lost and found, but it was so nice, and-- Young Max: So you kept it? [Judy opens the door from the kitchen and watches what happens.] Pete: Sorry, man. I just-- I just wanted to know what it was like to wear one. It didn't feel right, so... Here. Young Max: [grabs the jacket] I can't believe you took it. [closes the door] Leo: You should have been nicer, Max. I don't think Pete can afford a jacket like that. Young Max: How do you know? Leo: My parents and I volunteer at the food bank. I've seen Pete and his family getting free groceries there. Young Max: His family goes to the food bank? [Leo nods.] [Max goes and opens the door.] Young Max: Hey, Pete! Pete: What? Young Max: Here. Why don't you keep the jacket, as a reward for returning it. Pete: But then you won't have it. Young Max: Eh, I got plenty of 'em. Pete: [chuckles] Wow, man. Thanks. In that case, let me give you something. [takes something out of his pocket] Here. Take my yo-yo. Young Max: Thanks, man. Merry Christmas. [Pete leaves.] Leo: Feels good to give, doesn't it? Try to remember that next Christmas. [leaves] (door closes) Young Max: Mom, I have something to tell you. I messed up. [sighs] I opened my present early, wore it... and lost it. [Judy hugs him.] Judy: You are so grounded. :back to present day. Max: Sydney, where have you been? Judy: We were worried. Sydney: Sorry. We were out getting a tree. I figured we might need a new one. The tree lot was closed, but we pulled this from their dumpster. Olive: I know he's small, but I love this dry little guy. Judy: I think that tree is perfect. Just like you, Noodle. [kisses her on her forehead] Sydney: So what are we all standing around for? Let's crank up the tunes and deck some halls. We're gonna Christmas hard tonight! Judy: Come on, Olive. Let's go make some eggnog. Olive: I get to make eggnog. Wait. What's eggnog? Max: So, Sydney, where did all this Christmas spirit suddenly come from? Sydney: I realized that I owe it to Mom. In fact, from now on, I wanna celebrate Christmas here. Just like we did with Mom. Max: I would love that. Sydney: Oh, and I almost forgot. I got you a present. Max: Oh. Thank you. [Suddenly a balloon of Santa Claus comes out of the box, surprising him.] Max: I have never been so happy to be pranked in my life. Sydney: Merry Christmas, Dad. Max: Merry Christmas, Syd. [They hug.] :to 4 four years ago [At Reynolds' house, Alisha arrives.] Max: Shh. (door closes) Alisha: Am I too late? Max: She tried to wait up as long as she could, but she finally fell asleep. You would be proud of me, though. I actually stayed awake. For the most part. Alisha: [giggles] Oh, that's my big boy. [kisses him] I am so sorry that I had to miss Christmas, Max. Was Syd upset? Max: Actually, whatever you said to her worked. She had a great Christmas. Alisha: Well, that's my little rock star. Oh! And her gift? Max: It was perfect. Something tells me she's going to be playing that for a very long time. Alisha: Oh. [They turn to see Sydney sleeping on the couch with her bass.] Category:Transcripts Category:Season 2 Transcripts